UPDATE ONE - evening of the 21st
Thank you everyone for all the supportive and sympathetic comments. Even before I knew he had passed I felt him visit me. They had told us to go home and, I guess in wanting to believe everything would be okay, we did. He did look at me when I got him out of the carrier but when I layed him in the vet kennel on his blanket he just layed right were placed but Pua had looked as bad for awhile and she pulled through. I sent him healing energy the whole drive but saw the energy that was taking him in him and getting stronger and then I couldn't reach him any more. I layed down with Pua when I got home and felt him lay with us, I've never felt one so soon before. It was not long after that we got the call.
Pua generally sleeps during the day so she is sleeping and I've been in and out of bed with her. She did get up once and go curl up on the shelf. She would normally join Stewie and sleep the day away. But she came back awhile later after being curled up awhile and then looking sad and sniffing around. I did hear her plainly say "Yes I know he's passed" and "Yes, it's very sad" Even though I didn't specifically ask her. She did eat some when she was up. She may be a little more hardened than me, her being wild and I being a mere soft domestic creature. I will miss hearing their tails slap around against things as they wrestled together.
Yes they are very delicate. Though I called Stewie my little Studebaker(Stew-du-baker) because he seemed so big and strong and seemingly invincible. I get many rescuers of wild tamanduas write me for advice to try and save them. If I did not have them that would be one less resource for them potentially more lives lost. He made a great impact in his life, I can't even count all the responses I've gotten but am grateful for them all and it is touching so many shared in his spark of life. He was always so bright and wide eyed like the world just WOWed him all the time.
I knew they were delicate animals but never expected such a problem with Stewie. He was always so strong. I hoped he would live to see 20yrs(oldest confirmed was 19 but care is so much better for them now).
I remember one time he stopped to meditate and I asked him to take me with him. He said he wasn't going anywhere but he tried to guide me. He wanted me to expand myself and touch the universe with him. He's out touching the universe now. Perhaps when we are both ready he will now be my guide.
I wrote that the other day for a couple lists but had planned to edited to be more exceptable for everyone but have changed my mind. If you don't believe in what I do you can at least know my beliefs make me feel better and I'm not totally crazy or I'd be locked up somewhere ;)
Pua is doing good she has even played with me. First night she was sad but life has to go on and she did her usual rounds half heartedly. She would go to the closet and then remember he wasn't there then walk away instead of going up. She saw a backpack full of stuffing in the playpen and leaped onto it like she expected it to be Stewie so I played with her instead. She's used to spending some time with each of us so she will head for his usual places only to come back to me to sleep and not actually go check. Last night she climbed up onto the closet shelf once and looked for him then sat and looked sad and I swear got teary eyed. Another time she sat on the head board and sniffed at my tears as we remembered him. We played in the closet as well because on the way down she stopped and waved her arm as if to play with an invisible Stewie so I played with her again as she hang from the shelves.
She has taken it a lot better than expected but again she is from wild stock and loved ones can be lost frequently and if you sit and mope about it something would get you too.
I myself have been through a healing of shorts and am now doing much better than expected as well.
Thanks to all for the good thoughts and healing energies sent our way.
Yes Stewie is an angel
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